


More Than I Can Take [I Need You]

by onefootonego (startingXI)



Series: Crossfire [Of Your Own Thoughts] [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Do anything for family, Episode 1x16, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8721205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startingXI/pseuds/onefootonego
Summary: you're my sister. and i love you. no matter what. it does not hurt to say them, it hurts to see the half second in Kara's eyes where she doesn't believe you. where she truly thinks you will hold on to the terrible, hurtful, and still partially true, things she said. [or: 500 words on how Alex Danvers forgives Kara]





	

**Author's Note:**

> set during episode 1x16 - "falling"

you look at Kara now and hear every word she said to you on repeat. more than that, the words are a melody to the pain that rose in you and crescendoed, seizing your lungs for their own. you had gasped wordlessly, blinking back tears. 

you are sisters, there have been, will be, fights. epic fights, screaming matches. but this, this was no fight. this was a slaughter. it was a glimpse into a future you never want. a parallel life you might have had if that teenage resentment you held then, won. 

you look at Kara now, laying before you, sobbing. tears rolling down her temples and you know, you know you will forgive. forgiveness was always the only option you realize, wiping her tears with a finger and saying in careful, measured words, so she understands the depth with which you have brought them from 

_you're my sister. and i love you. no matter what._

it does not hurt to say them, it hurts to see the half second in Kara's eyes where she does not believe you. where she truly thinks you will hold on to the terrible, hurtful, and still partially true, things she said. 

for anyone but Kara maybe you would have. for anyone but Kara you would have exercised self restraint in physical violence. the wound those syllables carved is still raw, still healing and you had to work your way into facing Kara now. 

yet this is Kara. you value her most, her life intertwined with yours, her opinion, her love. you find her hand as she cries, feel the hesitation in her grip and you know she doesn't believe herself worthy of this comfort. 

all you can think about is how no one deserves it more. you imagine her, trapped in her own mind as anger and hate held the reigns. you don’t want to think of Kara trapped inside herself like that. but to do so helps you forgive, it helps you ignore your injured limb, even though Kara won't. 

[you know she will see it, she will apologise every time. she will give you the best parts of take out, and hug you too loosely, punish herself. because for Kara, hurting you is the worst thing she could do]

you sit with her, in this room. hold her hand tight as she cries, as she exorcises the demons, forced to reckon with those she hurt. you think, you know, the hardest part is over for her. awakening to realize all those things she said were not a dream, having to face you. 

the certainty does not come from ego. it comes from the wholeness in the understanding of your sister. knowing that Kara's own coming back to her mind would bring so much pain. pain you do your best to protect her from. pain you know she will think she deserves. pain she will take, pain she will remember forever. 

you allow her to feel it, but only so much.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first in a series of three five hundred word pieces. each is inspired by a line of dialogue from a particular episode. these are presented to you as an exploration of mindsets, understandings and fundamentally, the depth of the relationship between Alex and Kara. the final two pieces will be posted this weekend.


End file.
